I kneel in tender broken darkness
He knows
My knees splayed against my ribs
He knows
My chest rises and falls
He knows this feeling too
The softness that encages my bones feels permanently fleeting
Silent and screaming
How did He know
this flesh and not sin?
Jagged warm breath stretches my skin
My splayed out limbs cry again and again
How did perfection and brokenness coexist,
Sinless infinite feel pain like this?
How are you our kin and His?
My brokenness binds me to the flames of my sin
I am sailor and siren
No cords will hold me from myself
But the ones that held you to the cross
How did You go there
In a body like this?
You came to us, kneeling
And we could only think to fight
You came to us,
Denied yourself,
Quelling our screaming by silent night
Shepherd and lamb
the embodied great I AM
You came to us and wept
And we cried,
Crucify
What does it look like to obey with every breath?
to ask may-I-father from conception unto death?
Secure you were in a marriage of volitions
Superimposed in perfect submission
Your unceasing total sacrifice
Thinned the veil between I want and Father wants and I will
Until
The curtain was torn in two
Teach me to ask and not demand
To hold out open hands
While you hold my brokenness
Lord, help me rest in your command
Teach me to long for the day
this flesh will yield to blissful obedience
Teach me to trust your no, and your yes
To let obedience plant the dying seed of my flesh
And Your living voice whisper
That I am your child
And you are my holiness
